Thursday, July 14, 2011

"Where's the beef?"

Ah, the adventure continues.

Now we have 'blue' steaks which you can find even in the black of midnight under the new moon, even when the power goes out in the middle of a storm; just follow the blue radiance in the freezer. Who needs candlelight? Don't you envy our wee little radioactive beasties who glow in the dark?*

Beef cattle have been found to have 73 times the acceptable national standard of radioactive cesium (who thinks up these standards, anyways? Need to thank that anal-retentive character).

What does this mean to the consumer? Well, radioactive meat has been found in more than 10 prefectures, sent to at least 43 different outlets and restaurants. And in a few cases, served and eaten at "discount restaurants". How'd you like to wake up to that little bit of news: "Today will be partly cloudy, muggy as hell. Oh, and btw, the restaurant you ate at last night gave you the equivalent of 20 CT scans in your beef bowl."

Mmmm, now the beef's bad, fish in the east swim in radioactive goo and eat soylent green, the spinach has powers Popeye certainly never gained, and the water in the east is 'unacceptable for babies and pregnant women'. Combine that with all the tainted foods that have come in from China over the last 2 years, and it's getting hard to shop.

Can't wait until the new CostCo opens!

*too bad radioactive goods don't really glow. Just go shopping in the dark, you know your food's clean.

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