I'm back in the US for the 1st time in a few years and the reverse culture shock is negligible this time. But now I'm doing something fraught with fear and danger... I'm (cue Vincent Price voice) Driving In America.
What's the big deal, you say. You do it all the time. Well, so do I. I drive nearly every day in Japan. On the other side of the road! It can be quite hard when you instinctively pull into the same lane as always, and realize rather abruptly that you're driving against traffic right outside the Santa Monica mall (1995), up County Line Road in Denver (1997) or on the wrong side of the aisle in the parking lot (every f---ing time!).
Time to turn left, flip the switch. wee-wah-wee-wah, the wipers skitter across the windshield, hissing in their high-pitched little plastic voices, "Hey, Ahsehole, wrong switch. Ahse...hole. Wrong switch. Wrong switch. Ahse-HOLE."
It's starting to rain? "Left turn, get it right. Left turn, get it right."
And every time I park the stupid car, I set the hand brake and then find myself lifting my left leg (No, I'm not a dog!) and searching for the brake lever on the floor.
Thank God the pedals aren't reversed....
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