"Oh, happy day!"
--"Oh, happy day!"
{In a bigger voice, bending low, then reaching high, trying to place your palms flat on the ceiling and belly-bump the person in front of you out the door}...
"OH, HAP・PY DayAY!"
--"Oh, happy day!"
{Lean forward a bit and really belt it out now}...
"When CostCo comes!"
--"When CostCo comes!"
"When CostCo comes!"
--"When CostCo co.... ...What?!?!?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Bit deal!", you say?
"Philistine!", says I. "Ingrate! Spoiled American with warehouse stores like CostCo, HomeDepot and Best Buy dotting your every horizon like gigantic monolithic lunch boxes! I hate you! You with your WalMart, your Target boutique, your WholeFoods!"
Why so vitriolic?
- Because it's expensive, living here! And because I have to drive over an hour to reach the CostCo in Osaka, paying about $25 in tolls to do so (and hence only manage to go 2 or 3 times a year...).
- Because a 70/30 ground beef/pork mix costs me $7.50/lb, and loses 30% of its weight in fat when cooked...
- Because soft drinks are $1 each... on sale...
- Because I can't get some western foods without ordering them from personal importers and waiting anywhere from a week to a month for delivery. And most others, I just can't get at all...
- Because J. detergents are less powerful than Dawn, Joy, Downy or MisterClean...
- Because 6" tortillas at the only supermarket that carries them around here cost $4.50 for 5. Not 5 packs, mind you, just 1-, 2-, 3-, 4-, five!
- Because people here eat fish for breakfast, and have never heard of grits (neither has CostCo - oh, well)...
- Because the oh-so-antonymically-named (my word, I invented it! Pay royalties here!) MaxValu down the street charges $2/bagel, $18/lb for cheddar cheese, and $10/lb for tasteless sausages...
- Because Honeydew melons cost $5 for cheap, half-rotten, softball-sized ones, and regularly cost $30-100... EACH!
Have I made my point yet? I rest my case....
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